Haiku Friday - 4 day Weekend Edition!

Hours stretch ahead
Lazy, empty, nourishing
My heart, my soul, rest.

Walking away is
Not nearly as easy as
You would think it is

Things in practice
Are never as easy as
They are in theory

Hot humidity
Hugs as tight as your old aunt
At the reunion

Parts of me need things
That other parts of me know
Are very bad things

Weigh in is today
Hoping for a decent loss
4 days to first goal

Sparkling blue water
A trip to the library
Cleaning the kitchen

Tan lines and flip flops
Beach reads and sunscreen and heat
Summertime is here

Filling in bare spots
Mowing, weeding and trimming
I want more flowers

Useless but pretty
A small shot of happiness
Maybe it's enough

The Farmer's Market
Calls to me but not the kids
Going anyway!

Semantics

Not leaving

is not the same

as staying.

Saying something is a promise

is not the same

as promising something.

OK, fine

is not the same

as yes!

Not talking about something

is not the same

as something not being real.

Wanting

is not the same

as having.

Needing

is not the sam

as loving.

Letting go

is not the same

as walking away.

Not now

is not the same

as never.

Not saying it out loud

is not the same

as silence.

Walking around, making it through the day

is not the same

as living.

Not being here

is not the same

as being there.

Haiku Saturday - I'm Not Always Late, But I Usually Am

I love Trader Joe's
An oasis of cool food
And also, cheap wine

***

Sunny clementines
Just not enough to combat
Sadness and my SAD

***

The green tree sparkles
Each ornament a story
A piece of our past

***

This weird, weird weather
Like a Katy Perry song
Don't mean to like it

***

Friends come and friends go
Someone leaves, someone returns
The key is balance

***

Wonder what I'd say
If Christmas happened today
Would I welcome them?

***

I'm so intrigued by
Four hundred years of silence
And then, the baby

***
Merry Christmas!

Coming To Terms

I was shocked to find myself saying your name

after so many months

of not saying your name.

I even prefaced your name with

“my friend” when I know,

in fact,

that you aren’t my friend at all.

So after months of pointedly

not missing you

not thinking of you

not remembering you,

the loss of you

arrived unbidden and unexpected

and the loss of you

felt more real than almost any other loss

and the loss of you

hurt me but I didn’t cry

we don’t cry

remember,

how we don’t cry?

Remember how we

were like sisters and

how my kids called you Aunt

and the little one had a special way

of saying your name

and we loved you

I love you still

but the loss of you

is something I must bear

and invent and imagine all the reasons why

and guard against so that I never

have to bear this loss again.

Tower

The tower is tall
It's strong and it keeps out all
the things that bring pain
***
I hide there sometimes
when thoughts of you crowd my mind
and I can't let go
***
I understand you
Better than you know yourself
I see the forest
***
You made me believe
You let me be romantic
But you don't believe
***
Actions speak louder
You told me that was bullshit
But I was right, then
***
No dignity left
And so I swiftly retreat
Back where you found me
***
Alone and lonely
Crying, broken, cowering
And you walk away